TALKING & LISTENING
The art of being seen, heard & understood.
I do a lot of talking and listening these days, even though I’d much prefer to do the latter.
I’m not someone that likes being on camera, and I definitely do not like the sound of my voice.
But this story isn’t about me.
This story is about you, and the two core human desires you have; a desire to be loved and a desire to know that you are enough.
This is why your cravings for validation spikes every time someone shows interest in you; why you get so hopeful that after one good date, thinking you’ve finally found your person.
It’s also why it hurts so bad when someone pulls away, avoidant or not, why ghosting enrages you and why you’ll chase someone even though you know deep down inside that they’re not good for you.
These desires ask the same question; “will anyone ever see me, hear me and understand me?”.
At the end of the day, you just want someone to “get you” and for it to not be so GD difficult.
Every day I listen to stories about heartbreak, stories about betrayal, stories about people starving for hope.
You need to talk, but not so someone understands what you’ve been through. The context doesn’t matter as much as it does that someone is actually listening.
It’s funny because even in my desire to “help” as many people as I can, how I’ve built my life around teaching you the tools and techniques to stop abandoning yourself and to start loving yourself, this desire of mine is rooted in egoism; my own self interest to be of service and to “do good.”
Contribution is a higher-level psychological need, and there are both positive and less-positive ways to get these needs met, but I was recently reminded that the best thing I can possibly do for the people in this community is to listen.
To let you have a chance to be seen, heard & understood.
Because at the end of the day, all you really want to know is that someone is listening.
3 Non-Heartbreak Things I’m Thinking About
Is it just me or is Trader Joe’s now the most affordable grocery store out there? This is a major rebranding from twenty years ago.
The process of manifesting is horribly misconstrued as “positive thinking”, but it’s been something I’ve been f*cking around and finding out about with varying degrees of success. That may be a topic for another time, but here’s a fun, animated speech on breaking the habit of being yourself.
Dogs w/hair vs. dogs w/fur will be a never ending debate in my household.
& On a Personal Note
This week I quietly rolled-out of my No Contact Protocol mini-course. TBH, I created this course after someone commented on one of my videos “does no contact mean I can’t speak to them anymore” and I realized I had a choice, bang my head up against a wall until I passed out, or create a course about it. So I did.
I have also completely overhauled my 21 Day Breakup Bootcamp course and it’ll be ready for release in a few weeks. This is going to be a comprehensive, three week guide to jumpstart your breakup recovery, whether the breakup is fresh, you’re stuck in situationship hell, or you’re still struggling to let go and need a clean reset. Join the waitlist to make sure you know when it drops.